I cant deal with it and I havent talked to her since she accidentally told me the vacation wasnt with her friends but with him and his family. I wish you all the best. What is narcissistic personality disorder? They had been using the same nanny to care for their children since their second child came home from the hospital. Required fields are marked *. He must then be at school at 8:15. Stating that your father is kicking us out of the house and he doesnt care about us anymore. If necessary, get an injunction if your spouse is vandalizing your home or car, interrupting you at work or threatening you. Cases are different and what applies in one may not for someone else. Police responded, it was my fathers wake and infant was 14 years old son. For any thorough representation in any divorce matter, including post-divorce issues, contact us at our offices located in Los Angeles, Miami and New York. 4. The giorlfriend of the oldes son has been searching the internet to diagnose her boyfriends emotional diagnosis and thinks he is a narcissist but yet still stays with him as she wishes to get his bank accounts shared in her own name as well. She told my husband that she is devastated that I can come to talk to her. Now as his revenge, and knowing the new law here, he is taking advantage of the situation. In other words, they want revenge and they will stop at nothing to destroy their former spouse to get even.. I hope things are better for you now. How do I overlook this like everyone else, so I can see my kids again? They include: Don't try to counter or refute every falsehood. Recognize the dynamic and recognize the cycle. But they made it very clear that no pictures could be taken because if their dad ever got wind that my long lost daughter saw me, talked to me, and that this daughter arranged it; theyd all have a lot to lose. Be cognizant of parental alienation, which is when one parent attempts to turn the children against the other one. I see my husbands children distancing themselves from him. Wendi. This episode of Inside Mental Health podcast explores borderline personality. For the majority of people, co-parenting is doable and becomes easier as time goes by. My youngest daughter never fell into that. Its just not fair how much they adore him when he has provided nothing except a cool playmate their whole lives. Enter the new wife. happy valentines day everyone. Every time my son and I are out, his father will call constantly and get mad if we miss a call from him. Thanks, Jackie. Or, they will just have self-hatred, which never leads to anything good for their future. She got 85% of our wealth, has been getting $11,000 a month in support (9000 spousal)and has motions with the court for contempt, as I no longer can meet that level of payment. She was only there for a day while I was there. A divorce is many things. Told my oldest I was abusive to explain her mental health issues, when the only abuse was the way he separated her from her entire maternal family, because that effects kids so much more than they are willing to admit. Practicing skills like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation may make it easier to remain calm and avoid reacting when interacting with someone with NPD. Even when I single-handedly funded two households, one that he lived in for free, while my youngest finished high school. She dragged me into the court where she is more protective with lies than I am with the truth. I am hoping that someone going through a divorce reads this and thinks about what they are doing before the damage is done. My son left because his Dad beat him and then sent him to mental hospital because he couldnt control him. Be reliable, on time, and bite your tongue if necessary to avoid criticizing them in front of the kids. The ex takes him out of school (because he can, was his words) for a day trip. Vindictive people don't know what to do with kindness. I believe she has taken money out of their trust funds. In some cases where spouses have cheated and initiated the breakup, the vindictive behavior is a response to their guilt over ruining or ending the marriage. Its heart breaking to have them all hate me so much when Ive done nothing wrong to them if anything, Ive made life easier for them for as long as I could. There are always varying levels of a disorder, Hardy says. The cost of paying down all the debt and trying to live has proven to be too difficult. The opposite of love is indifference." I want so badly to see him but now Im afraid to reach out. I am so sorry you have had to deal with this. Trust me fellas, it is so painful. And I understand. They were not ever going to be liars and manipulators. My exHusbands wife is making my life and my kids life miserable. Im so horribly saddened, by all of this. Dealing With A Mean, Vindictive Ex By Mandy Walker After their confrontation in the therapist's office where Lisa's husband finally confessed to a prior long term relationship with a man, he moved out. Being in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality can be challenging. If you other guys want a good woman, go for old fashioned and less flashy (modern). I am friends and have a good reputation in this town. 2. He was fined by the court and held in contempt by the court for having violated the status quo order. But should they, absolutley unequivocally yes. Im a christian, I work hard, I have two jobs paying for legal fees and maintenance, without me there joint income annually is what a earn in a month, and 1/5 of my income goes to my children, and maintenance. When he moves on and remarries, then the new wife becomes the other woman. Theres a number of reasons why you should not do this. But now she says he is a financial dad not an interactive dad. Get the support you require in order to stay healthy, well-balanced, and sane. Underneath an apparent sense of superiority, there might also be an exaggerated need to feel approved and loved, and a vulnerable self-esteem. Remember, they have a condition that might distort the way they interpret your behavior or any given situation. Or in some instances, they do it to try to put the kids in the middle and they try to do it so that the kids will be more on their side than on the spouses side. December. So those are the top four things that you have to look out for and to avoid when youre going through the divorce process. He said the old- Id rather give it to the lawyers than you, and that is what he did. Weve been fighting this battle for 3 years now, and the few incidents Ive mentioned arent even the tip of the iceberg. Do not retaliate, even if your ex vandalizes your home or engages in other offensive conduct, 7. I am the father that loves with everything he has, I am the father that would give them the world, I am the father who would gratefully die for them. The fourth thing is the mistake that I see people make all the time and that is they cannot commingle funds that are inherited from family. I ended up paying Child support payment? The end of a relationship doesn't mean your decision to be with your ex-partner in the first place was flawed. Here are a few of tips to consider: 1.Document, Document and Document: A spouse that fabricates the truth puts you in a very difficult position, especially if there is no hard evidence to back up your side of the story. My vindictive ex punished me by fighting me on custody. Its pretty transparent that YOU are the person this article is about, and it gave your ego just enough of a hit to force you to defend your actions. All of a sudden she stopped coming home for holidays and she is going to her Dads. I didnt. Maybe you need to try for 100% custody. protect yourselves and stay optimistic. Our collaborative attorneys worked together to mandate that our sons get therapy during our divorce. Its usually a result of what some experts call narcissistic rage. Yes Ive tried to change support to no avail. I am at the end of my rope. The vindictive ex will get what he or she deserves, not by you, but by karma and other life happenings that you cant or wont control. he simply wants to destroy me because I proved happy without him. However, my lovely ex ( who cheated with over 35 women btw some a few years older than my child) continues to drag me back to court to try to modify his alimony and time sharing. Well, I would say one of the things I often tell my clients is that its not against the law to be an asshole and really you have to police that for yourself. With the help of their attorneys, most divorcing couples are able to reach agreements on how to divide assets and formulate a mutually acceptable parenting plan. Answer (1 of 6): That is a tricky question. And sometimes, that might mean walking away from the relationship, especially if theyre constantly acting in a way that hurts or harms you. Three protective orders that have all been dropped, two charges of telephone harassment for trying to call my ex to make arrangements for custody exchange, and now an assault and battery charge because I was rough housing with my three boys and one of them got a bruise. Only a mental health professional can make an accurate diagnosis. This was the nanny who was at the hospital the day their daughter was born, took care of the baby, took care of their older son for years, and was an integral part of the kids lives. I hope that something good will turn up from this. It makes me want to give up. She fabricated stories to therapists and pressed charges. although he staged our destitution. Dont move out of the marital home without consulting with your lawyer. (The man has a very high net worth, by the way.) Copyright 2023 @ Walters Gilbreath, PLLC All Rights Reserved. As in any situation where violence may arise, having a safety plan in place is highly advisable. This is a way of playing fair and letting them know what you will or will not tolerate. You sound like you need to fix yourself and stop giving stupid advice on the internet. Becoming . Im exhausted and at a complete loss and we have 8 more years before both children are adults What is the solution?? This website is for informational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. They were whores. However, experienced family law attorneys must prepare for the possibility of vindictive behavior that could otherwise cause real financial and legal harm. I was a great provider and a great dad she also worked but never made half or what I did. However, all 4 were passive aggressive, lying, cheating, manipulative, abusive, and mentally unstable. Of my exes only 4 (2 wives, 2 girlfriends) have been vindictive. Or is it more fun to continue bashing them and dragging THEIR names through the dirt and slut-shami g them in the name of revenge? The Over-Sharing In-Law. I am peaceful and spiritual. And told him to hide from his Mom and sent him a plane ticket (one way) so on that morning when i was leaving for work. If you are the target, consider getting legal advice on how to proceed. Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. Great system for you. These two little kids were devastated. Let your vindictive ex wallow in his or her lies and deceit. Divorce and parenting is not a place to exact emotional retribution and sometimes there really is no single . Malignant narcissism: From fairy tales to harsh reality. you being vindictive at such a devastating time, says a lot about your character. Well, I saw it and it was vindictive, demeaning, vile and so completely inappropriate to involve our children. Its very scary that it can come down to his or her word against yours, and it can cost tens of thousands (maybe hundreds of thousands) to defend yourself in a court of law. Ridiculing you. He did this, not me. Having a detailed parenting plan lessens the need to keep going back and forth on the small stuff. They have all the classic pcyho sociopath traits. I had another case where the wife destroyed the husbands motorcycle, it had been a big bone of contention in their marriage. I never did him wrong. Episode #63: What Happens To Your Business in a Divorce | Businesses and Texas Divorces Series. This has devastating repercussions on ones confidence and self-esteem.. Most people with the condition arent even aware of their symptoms and how they may affect their relationships. Our dedicated attorneys will not only give you the legal representation your case demands but the empathy and understanding you need when a marriage dissolves. She didnt want the children to meet me. He did it all in secret (well, at least secret from the kids) so that nobody but I could see it. I have hurt so much and yes I have cried like a baby. Vindictive refers more to how someone with the disorder may act in some situations. Sign up to receive updates from our Newsletter. Episode #61: Do I Really Need An Attorney?, Episode #60: Understanding Geographical Restrictions, Episode #57: Special Needs Children & Texas Family Law | Special Needs Children Series, Dealing with a Vindictive Soon-To-Be Ex-Spouse, alienate the children from the other parent. Her hope was that she wouldnt have to see us anymore because she was told we forgot about her Christmas concert (that we attended an participated in). Our privacy policyis also available for review. Additionally, you can insist that all communications go through your attorney. As a matter of fact, sometimes, just seeing others succeed stirs up frustration in them and a desire to hurt. Someone with the condition might interpret situations in a different way and perceive them as challenging or threatening to their integrity, even when theyre not. As a result, the tenuous relationship that remains becomes toxic. My ex has made my child lie about apparent sexual molestation, they even opened up a case at the police department. I had another case where one of the spouses was intent upon disparaging the other spouse to the spouses family and friends. When unsafe, these customary norms lead to further damage and perpetuate unhealthy cycles, Hardy says. Without clear and consistent boundaries, the psychological impact can be detrimental to your long-term social and emotional health.. My exs use dysfunctional patterns to use me when their new person isnt getting along with them. Stinson FS, et al. You are not putting down the source (your former spouse), but rather clarifying the accusation. Now her daughter has decided to go to college in the town my ex lives in which is a 15 hr drive from their home. Sooner or later no dought by now they should be caught, ex-husband, and female group. You have probably had enough drama in your life as you dealt with the deterioration of your marriage. I feel for you and your child. With regard to your use of the term collaborative attorneys, it sounds as though you are referring to cooperative attorneys. The process you described does not sound as though it were handled in the collaborative divorce process or that the attorneys. One of the things that I find interesting about this work, and also very sad, is the extent to which people act crazy because they really want to hurt their spouse. Im caught up in a horrible nightmare that will not end. I was prevented from the hire of counsel because he refused to give me alimony of 12,000 a month, while opportunistic unauthorized third parties lusted at the too good to be true cheap 3 house compound where they harassed us, gained possession, stole over 6,000 sq ft of assets, including my fathers remains, then filed a restraining order against me after I caught them stealing, and threatened me arrest, then kept stealing, then levied my Range Rover after it was falsey reported that I broke and entered into their property when my family has resided our home for over 8 years. Apart from vindictiveness, the second thing I would recommend you think about is that you should really avoid thinking that you can outsmart the system.
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